Within a semi‐structured family interview (the McMaster Stuctured Interview of Family Functioning), several questions focus on intimate areas of the marital relationship. How couples answer these questions provides a window into their style of communication around potentially stressful issues. Viewing their videotaped interactions while noting their gaze patterns, dialogue, tension, and attitude, produced the following categories: Adaptive, Stable, Co‐operative, Disengaged/anxious, Parallel, or Failing. Inter‐observer relability was high, and the categories were related in meaningful ways to a self‐report questionnaire, the McMaster Family Assessment Device, completed independently by each parent.