Abstract
This study identifies contradictions in married partners’ accounts of their relationship and assesses the importance of the tensions at beginning, middle, and present relational turning points. Overall, autonomy‐connection was the most frequently experienced contradiction, however openness‐closedness was perceived as the most important tension. When looking at gender differences, results showed that internal tensions were equally important for both husbands and wives, however external tensions of inclusion‐seclusion and revealment‐concealment were more important for wives than husbands.

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